That morning, a senior court lady came to see me. That woman introduced herself as a court lady who would accompany and serve me; to be precise, she would be my closest lady. That court lady was named Court Lady Choi.
Court Lady Choi, the old lady who took care of a fragile girl like me in order to survive in this pitiful palace.
At the time of the introduction, the palace was still shrouded in an atmosphere of mourning. The palace seemed busy preparing for the funeral of the late King Gwanghyo. In the midst of those preparations, I heard news from Court Lady Choi that my future husband—Crown Prince Uiyang, was in a state of shock.
Hearing the news, I felt sad for Crown Prince Uiyang. I seem to understand the sadness my future husband is going through because of the unexpected loss of his father.
I don know what prompted me at that time; I intended to meet Crown Prince Uiyang and intended to comfort him. Im not sure when the desire to entertain a young man Ive never met first appeared. My mother once said that a companion must be able to understand the feelings of the partner, even though there was never love in the marriage.
Indirectly, our feelings have been united by marriage bonds, even without love. That is the service of a wife.
Maybe it was because of that I want to comfort Crown Prince Uiyang. My desire to understand the future husband I will have to serve, even though I don want to be his companion, Even though Im afraid with my own throne, at least, I want to be a devoted wife to my husband.
With all the courage I had, that afternoon I went to see Crown Prince Uiyang at his residence, the eastern palace. I try to give my best smile to my future husband. However, what I got wasn pleasant.
Crown Prince Uiyang said that he didn want to see me in his life. He really hopes that with the postponement of this marriage, he can re-elect his prospective companion. My heart hurts.
I tried to brace myself when I heard a string of hurtful words from him. My pride as a Queen-to-be has been shattered. Unable to hear a words that might hurt my heart, I chose to say goodbye and leave the Crown Prince.
Court Lady Choi, who felt guilty for suggesting going to see Crown Prince Uiyang, begged for my forgiveness. The message that I always remember to this day is, "Don show your tears in the palace. Tears are a sign of weakness; once you show your tears in the palace, more enemies will targeting you.
I never knew if the throne I was going to sit on would be like that. The palace was a lovely place in my opinion at the time. But no one knew how desolate the palace really was. Im a young and naive girl, must occupy a dangerous throne alone.
"Crown Princess, Court Lady Choi requests to see you."
Jung Eun, who was daydreaming in her room, was startled when she heard a voice in front of her room. Jung Eun raised her face and fixed her sitting position before giving an answer. The young girl cleared her throat for a moment before finally speaking.
"Please come in."
A court lady wearing a jade-green hanbok stepped in as soon as the door opened. The lady walked gracefully with her head down. Once in front of Jung Eun, she bowed respectfully. Jung Eun nodded briefly in reply to the greeting given by the court lady.
"Crown Princess, allow me to introduce myself to you. Im Court Lady Choi. I was ordered by the Queen Dowager to serve and look after you. Please accept my best regards and loyalty, Your Highness."
Court Lady Choi got up from her seat and gave a formal greeting to Jung Eun. Meanwhile, Jung Eun feels uncomfortable getting such formal respect from someone who is older than her. However, the girl couldn stop Court Lady Choi. Jung Eun just smiled awkwardly at Court Lady Choi.
Court Lady Choi smiled sincerely when she saw the uncomfortable expression on the face of the little girl, who would later become a queen. Inside, Court Lady Choi felt sorry for the innocent-looking little girl who had to enter the palace at such a young age. The sweet girl must enter the palace, which is full of cruel intrigues that can hurt the girl at any time. Unknowingly, a protective instinct appeared on Court Lady Chois surface.
"Your Highness, if there is anything you want, please let me know. I will provide it as best I can. You do not need to hesitate to give orders to me, because I was ordered to serve you as best as possible."
Jung Eun returned with an awkward smile on her beautiful face. "Y-yes. Thank you for wanting to be my lady-in-waiting, Court Lady Choi." Jung Eun replied.
Court Lady Choi smiled again, understanding the awkward attitude of Jung Eun. "You don need to use such formal language on a servant, Your Highness."
Jung Eun blushed when she heard a reply from Court Lady Choi. The girl lowered her head in shame. Jung Euns behavior provoked a chuckle from Court Lady Choi. However, not wanting to be seen as a disrespectful lady-in-waiting, Court Lady Choi hid her small laugh by clearing her throat.
"Since the royal wedding is currently on hold, all of your training will be postponed. Have you received the adjournment order, Your Highness?"
Court Lady Choi wanted to confirm the status of the little girl in front of her. At the very least, Court Lady Choi had to maintain the official standing of the little girl in front of her. As someone who had lived in the palace for a long time, in times of mourning like this, evil political intrigue usually sprang up. Moreover, the position that consort of the successor to the throne has makes her very vulnerable to the evil machinations of the palace.